You tied the vote, so we carried the swing of the decision! So I guess you can blame us for the fact that you’re stood on the kitchen table, taping your trouser legs closed to make sure these ratty devils don’t get up there and bite somewhere essential.
Welcome you poor nervous fools to our Top 10 rodents in the world of games. We have adopted our standard method of arguing until our fingers hurt (because we talk on Steam) about whether or not a rabbit is a rodent (turns out it’s not, damn you overly specific zoologists!) and whether Pikachu or Rattata deserves their place here or not. Guess you’re going to have to scroll for that one.
I wonder how many of you actually know of this video game classic? Mappy was basically a police officer, the mouse edition. If you are a fan of retro games and also are a fan of ultra adorable cuddly things, even if it is a rodent, then this is the game for you.
Mappy is constantly under threat from the evil cat, Nyamco (Yes, seriously) and his cat allies, Mewkies. The interesting part of this game was the ability to scroll across the map. Why is this interesting, I hear you ask? Well, this game was based on the Namco Super Pac-Man engine. Do you want to know what the coolest part of this game is, though? Mappy even got his own YouTube animated show as well! If you let it off for all of the cheese (pardon the pun), it’s actually pretty amusing and highly reminiscent of shows like Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law. Now I need to stop “bom bom”ing along with that theme tune. I want a kazoo now…
9) Mouse Villagers – Animal Crossing
As you play through Animal Crossing, you find you have a need to have villagers move in to your little village… It’s a rather joyful little game in fact! However, this game does like to promote racial diversity and so what could be better than having a race of Mouse Villagers to move into the village!?
Okay, the above mouse is a little terrifying to look at… Good grief, if that was my neighbour, I might be a little bit worried… In fact, I already am… But okay, the above mouse is called Bella and she is a Peppy mouse. This means she’s quite an excitable creature and she’ll regret saying anything out of place at any time. In Animal Crossing, the villagers move in and all have different kinds of personalities. The mouse race doesn’t have an “Uchi” personality type mouse yet.
8) Ratonga – Everquest
The Ratonga are a playable race of anthropomorphic rats in EverQuest. Apparently all of the ratfolk of EverQuest worship a mad god who is highly intelligent, much like his ratkind brethren… But he cannot block out the thoughts of others, which he finds quite bothersome.
Ratonga are deceptive and greedy, but clever, agile and charismatic as the above suggests. There’s sadly not much more to say about them, but the fact there was a whole playable race of Ratonga is testament to how much EverQuest put into these little rats. When I looked up the Ratonga, I found that a lot of webpages suggesting they’d like to see the Ratonga in EverQuest Next.
No, not the video game streaming platform, Twitch is… A plague rat! Twitch the Plague Rat! He is a dirty, sneaky rat who likes nothing more than to jump upon his enemies in ambush. But, not only is he good at ambushing his enemies, he’s a damn good marksman at that. He knows how to strike his enemies from a variety of places and how to infect them with horrible venom.
Living in sewers, yes, Twitch is literally a murophobic persons worst nightmare.
6) Youngster Joey’s Rattata – Pokémon
Not your average Rattata let me tell you! Your everyday route 1 easy-catch? No sir, and while he’s not the best of Rattata, he’s easily in the top percentage of all Rattata. Shiny fur, teeth like razors and a jaw like a vice, this is a pure-bred killer let me tell you! And it’s all down to that master trainer who took that lowly little vermin all the way, ALL THE WAY to the top! Youngster Joey, that kid will be the very best, let me tell you. His Rattata is like no one’s ever was.
If only he’d stop calling to tell you. We’ve all had that friend. Well now I’m imagining what Youngster Joey’s drunk dials would be like.
Anyway, Rattata is probably as famous as “that other mouse pokemon” these days, another red/blue edition who’s legacy has echoed down the generations. Under appreciated perhaps, but not by us. Number 19 in the pokedex, number 6 in the list, number 1 to one very special boy…
5) Conkers – Bad Fur Day
I’m sure that even if you’re not a hardcore gamer from the past, you’d have heard of Conkers Bad Fur Day. This game knew how to be funny. Heck, this game was so good, that IGN have even rated it a whopping 9.9/10! That’s no small feat! Conker is a Squirrel, before anyone finds the need to ask. I won’t lie, I didn’t really know if he was supposed to be a squirrel, but this game pushes the boundaries of a platformer. No more cuddly happy sweetness… Conker starts off with you literally trying to get home after a wild night out… Irk! I promise I’ve never had this experience…
Released in 2001, Conker saw to it to do away with the traditional concepts of an action platformer. No more do you need to collect silly random collectable items, but instead you are in charge of playing around with Conker and doing away with his hangover, making him turn into an anvil to squish his enemies below and much more. Conker truly is a masterpiece of the Nintendo 64… Although, it’s fair to point out that this game is mature themed. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, go look up some of the game play.
4) Skaven – Warhammer
From beneath the ground comes the horde of the Horned Rat. They outnumber humanity, possess technology more devastating than any forged by dwarves, and have created monsters more hideous than anything that crawl out of the dark corners of the world! If only they could coordinate themselves.
Skaven could never become a major power in the Old World because they’re too busy protecting their own backs from their subordinates, ordinates and insubordinates to be able to focus on the world full of enemies above ground. They are consumed by their own plots to overthrow the rat above them to seize their place, but dare not focus too hard on that task for fear of falling prey to the schemes of the skaven beneath them.
It’s fun! Especially when those gigantic trampling beasts charge through your own ranks because they’ve turned around, or a unit blows itself to smithereens as betrayal rears it’s ugly head (or knife) mid-game.
3) Giant Rats
They’re in the cellar.
That’s it. Enjoy level 1 you guys! Get paid, move onto tougher fare in increasingly exotic locales. Rats for everybody, usually bigger than normal, which says a lot for the kind of diet that rats can enjoy in a fantasy world. Judging by the average loot drops in these situations it would appear that they mostly eat small amounts of gold followed by sub-par weaponry.
Anyway, these guys are everywhere, and they’re eating our stuff and spreading diseases and whatnot. Giant diseases. Are you 4-6 young and poorly equipped adventurers going to deal with this? Or do I have to call a real exterminator?
2) Freya Cresent – Final Fantasy IX
Have you ever seen a rat jump to the skies, then throw their javelin down with immense force, enough to slay dragons? That’s what this Dragoon from the Final Fantasy series does and guess what? It’s a super strong female character! Final Fantasy doesn’t need their females to be scantily clad to make them awesome, Freya to me is one of the best characters from the game; I even rate her higher in character value than Vivi, which many find surprising!
Freya is literally a rat woman. There’s no denying this with her ratty tail and her rat-like ears and face… She’s just an anthropomorphic Burmecian from Burmecia. I’d have preferred it if it was called Burmiceia, but whatever. This rodent has one seriously sad tail to tell (get it?!) With her homeland of Burmercia under threat and with her beloved having forgotten about her, she fights as a Dragoon and travels with her friends in Zidane and co. Never forget Freya, You’re Not Alone.
Oh yes, only one rodent deserves the number one slot. Mind you, these lemmings:
And the whole jumping to their deaths thing was a myth that became a wildly popular game series that continues to spawn sequels and variations even when it’s fast approaching 25 years old! I remember playing this game when I could count the number of pixels in each sprite, absolutely incredible to me at the time, nowadays not so much, but at least I know what I’m doing and can get through level 1 on the first try.
I have learned since those days that umbrellas do not slow a fall sufficiently to save your life, and that nobody turns around if you just stand in the middle of the street with your arms outstretched. Maybe I need green hair and a blue tunic, or maybe DMA design needed to look at a book about lemmings before choosing a name for their game. Who cares? Great game. An absolute legend that’s earned its’ place up here at the top of the list.
Now how is it going to find it’s way down?
“Honourable”? Rats and mice are rarely known for their honour, in fact they’re more renowned for being unpleasant, dirty, and synonymous (Synonymouse! Hah!) with sneakiness and underhanded deeds.
Still! We had a few options that we just couldn’t let go past without at least a nod of acknowledgement. Still no rabbits though…
Rats – Borderlands 2
“Borderlands Joel?” I hear you cry, “Borderlands? Why I never knew you were a fan of those games!” Well I hear your sarcasm and shut up! Nah I’m kidding, I love you guys.
Anyway, rats are a fun little addition to the game, former Dahl miners who’s underground lives have turned them into omnivorous and slightly canibalistic scavengers with big teeth and long claws that they really don’t need because they all have guns! And some have laser-eyes! They’re also devils for snatching up stuff that you might need and hide it in their stashes, lost forever to you.
One of the more famous nerdy references in Borderlands 2 are the rats at the end of the quest Splinter Group, Dan, Leo, Mick, and Ralph, four ninjas trained by another rat “Flinter” that ambush the vault hunter by getting them to deliver a pizza to their sewer hide-out. Took me longer than I’m proud of to figure that one out!
I am not sorry! It’s a bad pun and you love it, after all you keep crawling back for more.
Gaming mice are huge business these days. They’ve come a long way from the two button rollerballs that I grew up with. Laser tracking, minute motion sensing, more buttons, lots more buttons, for macros and things that you don’t even need. What are you even going to use all those buttons for? Mac users can’t even handle two, what is that on yours? Twenty!
What have you got? Razer, corsair, R.A.T, classic Logitech? Tell us in the comments!
All done! You can come down off the furniture now. We’re letting the cats loose to make it safe for you to tell us what you want to see next week!