Satan, a name that strikes fear into all foolish mortals who should choose not to follow his command. What he commands is final, so don’t you dare think you can get away from this week’s list, the final in our series of scary, spooky and downright silly Top 10’s from recent weeks. Now that Halloween is around the corner, what better time is it than now to revel in delight at our Top 10 Depictions of Satan.
10) Satan – The Angry Video Game Nerd
Warning: Lots of swearing in this video.
What happens when the best video game strikes back, forming the ultimate terrible video game boss battle in real life? Well you happen to form the video game version of Satan, of course – and the Angry Video Game Nerd is known for his uncanny battle suit – What better way to defeat the evil Satan?
But even with his full battle suit, it’s not enough to defeat Satan alone. No, indeed, James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd, needs some assistance to defeat Satan. Along comes Super Mega Death Christ, the all powerful, all guns blazing version of Christ, who helps the AVGN with both fighting off Satan and keeping his potty mouth in check.
Swearing galore, the AVGN is a sight to behold, if you’ve never seen one of his classic videos.
9) Beelzeboss – Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny
Yes, Beelzeboss makes our list as, let’s be honest about a few elements here.
Satan is totally a metal lover, so you can absolutely understand why he was put in this film. It was funny, it was silly – overall, it’s hugely entertaining to suddenly see the team of Jack Black and Kyle Gass have to take on the ultimate metalhead itself – Beelzeboss! Or Satan. Or whatever you want to call it, really.
Grab your popcorn, this film is a rock opera and a half. Featuring the talents of many great musicians, including the legendary Dio, you know you’re in for a fun ride when you watch this film. But be warned; this really isn’t suitable for a young audience. Apparently Satan is quite a randy devil, especially where Kyle Gass is concerned.
8) Satan – Little Nicky
Uh-oh, Hell has frozen over, the souls of the damned aren’t able to make the grand entrance that they so deservedly earned and everything now relies on ‘Little Nicky’ to save his dying father, Satan.
After Satan makes the decision not to hand over the crown of the Underworld to one of his three sons; Adrian and Cassius decide that they want to create a new Hell on Earth. Nicky is given a flask by his Dad, Satan and is told that he needs to bring the trapped brothers back to Hell, or Satan will continue to decompose and eventually die, leaving the seat of Hell open to whoever takes it.
Shout out to the Prince of Darkness for his cameo appearance; here is Ozzy Osbourne and the infamous bat scene.
7) The Lord of Darkness – Legend
The world used to be born into the night, where The Lord of Darkness, AKA Big D, would roam about with his minions. When light was born, Satan and friends found themselves retreating underneath the Earth. Now the all-powerful lord of the underworld, Satan desires little in life, other than to cause pain, misery and suffering. What’s more, he intends to kill that blasted unicorn.
Played by the always fantastic Tim Curry, this is an image of Satan that I had seen many times, without knowing where it came from. The shocking imagery, the strong red skin tone, those teeth and that strangely sinister look makes him an ideal image for The Lord of Darkness. Indeed, whilst this fantasy film is truly campy in nature, the imagery and the bizarre qualities this Satan possesses might make him an ideal standard image for the devil himself.
6) HIM – The Powerpuff Girls
Flamboyant and of an often unpredictable nature, HIM is one of, if not the most powerful enemy the Powerpuff Girls have to face. With an appearance that makes you question what he actually is, from the bright red skin and pointy beard, to the lobster claws he has, it’s hard to tell how much of him is Satan and how much of him is actually an over boiled lobster. Still, appearances aside, HIM is one of the most dangerous villains to grace Townsville.
It’s hard to tell why HIM hates the Powerpuff Girls so much; but some of the more simple explanations come in the form of his minions. HIM has ultimate power over his minions, but when they get humiliated by three little girls, it makes him angry. When he gets angry, he’s not a pleasant hellish creature. HIM is the literal incarnation of Satan in the Powerpuff Girls – So watch out Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom – You’re in for the fight of your young lives!
5) Sadao Maou – The Devil is a Part-Timer
Satan is one evil guy who is hell-bent on dominating the world; but what you probably didn’t know is how he intends to take it over. When a bored Satan is sent to Earth, you’d be forgiven for thinking he was about to unleash hellfire and brimstone upon us all – But you’d have it way wrong! See, he may be an all powerful being, but what better way of dominating Earth is there, than through a hard day’s graft? Trust me when I say this, Sadao Maou is Satan, like you’ve never seen him before.
With an office he works for, Sadao looks to dominate all of Earth by working his way through the corporate ladder. One promotion at a time, Sadao has to learn how to interact with humans in a nice way, deal with his new job whilst still managing his old job and keep his powers relatively in check. Out of all anime depictions of Satan, this one is the funniest. Other anime Satan’s don’t even come close – and besides, like all good Satan depictions, he’s utterly charming… in an oddball kind of way!
4) Beelzebot – Futurama
The Beelzebot, or ‘Robot Devil’, is a red devil in robot form, who is remarkably good at playing the fiddle (in reference to The Devil Went Down To Georgia). He’s a powerful devil, who has utter control over Robot Hell, which Bender really should just get himself a season pass to at this point. Regardless, Robot Hell is somewhere you can get to, simply by just going to the abandoned amusement park it’s situated over. Well, when you think about it, Robot Hell is basically a scrapheap.
He’s swapped hands with Fry before, to help him with playing the hardest instrument in the universe. He’s shown his power and his command over flames, as well as being the head of the League of Robots. However, just because he’s the Robot Devil doesn’t mean he’s all that bad. He’s gone so far as to call Bender more cold hearted than he is, which is funny, as Robot Hell is always hot.
3) The Prime Evils – Diablo
Terror, Destruction and Hatred – These are the three lords, the three Prime Evils, that make up the ultimate evil in the land of Sanctuary. Diablo, Lord of Terror; Baal, Lord of Destruction and Mephisto, Lord of Hatred. These three Prime Evils are the truest forms of evil made up in Diablo. Individually, they are just extremely powerful Lords of Hell. However, when the three of them come together, they form a trio known as The Prime Evils.
Technically, all three of these beings are, for lack of a better word, Satan. They are manifestations of evil incarnate – They show no remorse, they want nothing more than carnage and death in their wake. They aren’t content with Sanctuary being safe and secure; they want change and they want to leave their mark on the land. When Heaven fell, The Prime Evils were there to take charge.
2) Lucifer Morningstar – Lucifer
“Well, obviously you felt the need to exercise your limited powers and punish me for ignoring the speed limit. It’s okay, I understand. It’s… I… I like to punish people too. Or, at least I used to.”
Lucifer is someone who can talk his way out of a murder, even when he’s standing over the corpse, with knife in hand, blood dripping from every orifice and effectively being as guilty as possible. He’s one smooth operator and the best thing is that he knows it. He probably gets away with far too much, but it’s part of what makes him such a charming character.
Lucifer is indeed this world’s Satan, who has a daddy issues complex. Seriously, the number of times we hear this suave voice say “Thanks daaaaad” just makes me think of every teenager in life ever. This Amazon original is an amazing story, well worth investing time into and Lucifer has to learn how to interact with humans – But he does so whilst still abusing his power as the all powerful Lord of Hell.
1) Satan (+ Mega Satan) – The Binding of Isaac
When Isaac succumbs to his dark side, he goes down into the Sheol. The goodness in his heart leaves him, as he revels in the temptation of what darkness can bring him. He sees a way out, but the only way out is too gruesome to share. He has a lot of personal demons to battle, but none of them are as cruel or as sadistic as Satan – Or his ultra variant, the Mega Satan optional boss battle.
Oh sure, unlike the rest, this version of Satan has absolutely no real charisma to speak of, which is a huge element to basically all other variants of Satan. However, sometimes, to truly appreciate pure evil, you must experience the lengths they will go to, in order to cause as much carnage as possible. Mega Satan, the natural evolution of Satan in Binding of Isaac, is one of those boss fights you have to see to believe. Not the hardest fight in the game, but certainly up there – Mega Satan is a pain to fight. Before you can get to him, you’ve still got to beat satan in its original self anyway.
Be warned: These are amongst the toughest fights in roguelike history.
The devil ain’t all that bad now is he? Well, okay, he can be a little bit of a nightmare – But hey, not all Satan’s are built the same. Here’s two more examples of Satan in media, where he’s not exactly all that Satanic after all. Instead, these two individuals are pretty terrifying in their own rights.
Little Devil Teemo – League of Legends
“What?! My servants haven’t destroyed you yet?” – Little Devil Teemo, during the Doom Bots featured event
Teemo is a yordle residing in Bandle City and member of the Scouts of the Mothership, one of the most distinguished special forces units. Whilst it goes against what a Yordle stands for, Teemo is remarkably efficient at completing solo missions. To try and play against a Teemo is a feat only the bravehearted are worthy of, with his ability to go invisible, blind enemies and increase his movement speed, all whilst being able to chuck out bouncing, toxic and exploding mushrooms, leads to an all out chaotic experience.
Little Devil Teemo is a purchasable cosmetic skin for the character available from the store within League of Legends. With the release of the skin, it led to the reintroduction of the featured game mode Doom Bots; a hellish and chaotic variation of the Summoner’s Rift where champions are mutated and advanced to each gain skills and abilities of other champions within the game. If you survive 15 minutes against the Evil Overlord’s minions, he will make an appearance in a bid to rain destruction down upon your Nexus.
Horned Reaper – Dungeon Keeper
This was an odd pick for the list, as technically speaking the Horned Reaper isn’t Satan. However, it’s not really confirmed what the Horned Reaper really is. ‘Horny’ as he’s affectionately known by the Dungeon Keeper universe, is an incredibly dangerous entity in the world of Dungeon Keeper. In fact, he’s not only the mascot of the game, but he’s effectively a nearly unstoppable killing machine.
By the time Dungeon Keeper 2 came about, you were able to unlock the horned reaper via summons by playing the campaign. This meant that you effectively had a panic button, rather than having to fulfil the sacrifice requirements you’d usually have to commit to. Typically, you must sacrifice hugely useful minions to be able to summon the Horned Reaper, so although he might not be Satan, he basically was their version of Satan.
The Lord of the Land approaches? Hah! More like cannon fodder for the Horned Reaper!
Huge thanks to my fiancee, Jake, who helped me write this one, as Joel was busy throwing a hellishly good night over at the GeekOut Shrewsbury Meet (Read all about that tomorrow). As ever though, another week and another Top 10 is over with. It’s time for us to reflect on what’s been shared and think about what we’d like to see in the next Top 10. Pick one from your options below – Your lord, Satan, demands it.
I’m glad that’s over with – Satan can be a little bit demanding at times, can’t it? But whatever your thoughts on the hellish creature, it’s time for you to let us know what you thought of this week’s Top 10. Did we pick the right Depictions of Satan, or did we forget about a hugely important one? We considered the South Park one, but it was beaten out by the Beelzebot as the truly number one cartoon comedy Satan. As ever, share your thoughts and opinions below, or over on Facebook and Twitter – and remember, when you’re feeling a near unshakable temptation to do something deliciously evil, just say what Bianca Del Rio would say…