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Geek Proud, GeekOut.

Top 10 Characters With Crazy Hair

GeekOut Top 10s

These characters know how to show off their unique personalities. This list is to celebrate characters who hair is literally an extension of themselves and their personalities. It’s also for if they can use their hair as weapons, or just general talking points. Whether it’s a cultural thing or if it’s just how they roll, we’re going to celebrate hair in all of its ridiculousness. Yes, this list is only for Characters with Crazy Hair.


Top 10

10) Senku – Dr. STONE

The most recent addition to this list, Dr. STONE is an anime you can catch right now on Crunchyroll. It’s not exactly an old anime, or even an old manga, but it’s definitely worth checking out. We reviewed it not too long ago, so check out our review on the anime. Now, let’s actually get into why Senku deserves to be on this list, as surely, his hair isn’t that bad is it..? Oh wait…

Senku’s hair is absolutely bonkers. I’ve never seen anything like it. I mean, I can understand wanting to make someone look “earthy” and “natural”, but to turn their hair into a literal vegetable seems like a bit of a stretch. Nevertheless, Senku is a genius first and a fashionista last. If he can save the world, he will, even if his hair will remain a mess.

9) Jareth the Goblin King – Labyrinth

Goblin King, Goblin King, wherever you may be, take this child far away from me! Oh and where do you go to get your hair done? Jareth may be a Goblin King, but in truth he melted all of our hearts with his incredible makeup, fancy clothes and hair. That massive head of hair is just such a ridiculous image – But David Bowie absolutely rocked it, probably just as you’d expect him to.

Whilst his hairstyle is something you could arguably pull off in real life, I’m not sure that’d go down well. Imagine walking down to your local Greg’s with hair like that? I’m sure people would be singing Dance, Magic Dance at you en route to getting yourself a Cornish Pasty, but at least David Bowie rocked the image. You’d never remind me of the babe.

8) The Centauri – Babylon 5

Males of the Cantauri people wear their hair in peacock-like combs, with varying heights depending on their social status. It’s a simple distinction, that and the leviathan eyebrows make it easy to distinguish them from humans… at least before you get into the biology and morphology beyond the opulent clothing. The distinction is never mentioned overtly, it’s subtly woven into simple moments, and only drawn attention to once.

When Emperor Cartagia takes the throne, he is beset with… unusual habits. Torture, debauchery and hedonism, sure, no worries there, but he wears his hair short… like a mere senator. Now maybe this is because he’s a lunatic of whimsy, or maybe it’s a symbol of subservience to a greater power, one that promises great rewards in exchange for his obedience.

7) Edward Scissorhands

For someone so good with hair, Edward – the mechanical homunculus doomed to incomplete creation – seems doomed to be the living embodiment of the Tim-Burton look… actually why isn’t Tim Burton the one appearing on this list? Pretty sure he’d have qualified.

Anyway, the chaos atop Edward’s scalp is testament to his inability to hold a comb, and while his bladed fingertips make him one hell of a barber, it doesn’t leave him with much ability to style himself. Topiary, ice sculpture, cookery, all easily mastered skills, but it does make things such as human interaction and basic personal maintenance difficult. Plus his dad wasn’t around to teach him.

6) Jessie – Pokémon

To protect the world from devastation, using a ridiculously bright, incredibly lengthy hairstyle. Jessie of Team Rocket is a character that everyone falls in love with. She’s the brains of the operation, albeit a little bit egotistical to boot. However, what I’ve never been able to understand is how those twerps, Ash and friends, are unable to recognise Jessie’s incredible hairdo when she’s undercover.

Nevermind the pedantics of how the Pokémon universe works, Jessie is equally as impressive in the game series… But again, only really for how ridiculous her hair is. In terms of her skill as a Pokémon trainer, she’s no slouch, but no matter what medium she’s in, she never feels fully committed to a life of crime. Indeed, she often helps Ash and co, arguably more than she hinders them.

Ah well, anything for a shot at that Pikachu, right?

5) Millia Rage – Guilty Gear

 

Guilty Gear is a series renowned for some of its particularly interesting characters; from the outlandish Faust, through to the utterly ridiculous I-No who wields a guitar like no other. However one of the least-strange characters has one of the craziest hairdos. Unlike other entries in this list, her hair is more than just a statement, her hair makes the statement as it’s a weapon.

Unlike the rest of the entries, her hair is relatively “normal” looking, albeit just incredibly long. The fact that her hair can actually lash out and attack her opponents though, that’s enough reason for entry. Putting her at the fifth place spot is simply because her hair is ludicrously long, exceptionally elegant and also incredibly deadly. Watch out, Millia’s rage is in those luscious golden locks.

4) Dwarven Slayers – Warhammer

Dwarves! Master weavers of plaits, their long hair and beards adorned with metal jewellery and jewels. None should trust a shaven dwarf, it is a mark of insanity and untrustworthiness, but perhaps more insane still are those who raise their hair into tall mohawks, dyed into shades of flame and blood, the Slayer Cults of Grimnir, who cast off the protection of metal, instead relying on their own hides and the tattoos of Grimnir to protect them from their enemies.

Though many say they are without honour, but are driven to acts of recklessness in the name of redemption. The towering crest of hair marks their oath, their numbers and designs are believed to mark their chosen foe, whether dragons, daemons, or trolls. The Slayers themselves speak little, communicating by action and bloodshed.

3) Ruby Rhod – Fifth Element

While our first thought was pioneer of the undercut – Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, there’s a far greater example of pileous experimentation, Chris Tucker’s raucous interstellar DJ and radio host Ruby Rhod. A powerhouse of raw sexual energy with a thousand-word-a-minute talking habit and insecurities so deep they cause earthquakes.

The great tower of blonde projecting from his forehead is most starkly contrasted by his almost entirely bald entourage, and that cylinder barely quivers as he flounces through the decks of Fhloston Paradise, unlike everyone around him, but it’s short lived before it’s back to black and cluster of beautiful bobbles around his precious head as he flees capture and live broadcasts the siege of the cruise ship by the Mangalore.

2) Yugi Moto – YuGiOh!

Now Seto Kaiba, let’s finish this duel, but first, look at how distracting my hair is!

At least that’s what I could imagine a real game with Yugi Moto would be like. His hair is unlike any other. It defies expectations, it defies gravity, it’s just… Incredible. It’s a work of art and at the same time, a very typical anime hairstyle. If you’re a big anime fan, there’s no way you’ve avoided this hairstyle for the nearly 20 year old. It’s ridiculous and that’s why it’s so high up on the list.

Just to point out, however, it’s not just the ridiculousness that puts Yugi and his hair here. Instead, it’s purely the iconicness of the character. I could have argued for anyone from DragonBall Z, but ultimately, in terms of constantly ridiculous and not even practical, Yugi wins this hands down. Just like he wins plenty of children’s card games. Wouldn’t be like it myself…

… Anyone up for a game of Magic?

1) Marge Simpson – The Simpsons

Even within the confines of the Simpsons vast roster of characters, Marge is something particularly different. The great blue tower defies doors and gravity, a pillar unmatched by any other human living or animated, not even the late Wayne Static could match that height.

The classic blue-rinse column comes down to Marge’s waist when it’s let down, and a small battery of curlers, hairpins, and can after can of spray go into shaping and supporting about two and a half foot of hair, that was originally designed to hide rabbit ears (true story, we all know Matt Groening got started with his rabbit cartoons) that were later dropped because… well it’s a smidge too weird even for Springfield.

The beehive do that she straightened throughout her teens is now put to use as extra storage space, carrying cash, useful tools, Maggie, and yes, a beach umbrella. It has as long and interesting a history as any member of the family, and despite the lack of rabbit ears, it still remains in defiance of all reason.


Honourable Mentions

We’ve gotten out of these hairbrained schemes at last, but now it’s time for us to think about two more entries. This week, we wanted to break the rules on one and the other, we wanted to ignore the “Characters” part of this list. You’ll see why…

Dexter’s Laboratory

A very specific entry in this week’s Honourable Mentions, Dexter from Dexter’s Laboratory isn’t exactly renowned for his ridiculous haircut. It’s just a short ginger haircut, nothing more, nothing less. It’s practical and it makes him look smart. So why on earth would he even get just a moment’s time on this week’s list? Well, I mentioned this is a specific entry so, if you click the video above…

… Yes, we’re talking about the episode where Dexter gains a rugged, manly look. He gets a beard that is the talk of the town. Everyone thinks Dexter is the manliest man of all after he grows this beard. We never said the hair had to be on top of the head; nothing said we couldn’t have thrown beards in – But hey, perhaps that’s a Top 10 list for another day unto itself?

The Protagonist

Ahh the classic game of “Spot the protagonist”. In a wall of bland, flavourless, cardboard cutout characters, you can always spot the hero by the obscenely spiky and colourful hair he or she is sporting that’s no doubt obscuring the view of the people behind. Now you may already be thinking about anime, and we did too at first, but it’s a habit not exclusive to anime.

Bayonetta’s weaponised hair/clothes, the infamous albino Geralt of Rivia, the whole collection of League of Legends and Street Fighter characters (those with hair at least), oh, and the ever moving pile of blonde on pirate prettyboy Guybrush Threepwood. Gotta have that lead character really stand out from the crowd so you can distinguish them from all the people who the camera does not follow.


Now that we’re out of that hairy situation, it’s time for us to give this list a comb over. The root of this list stems from those with a head of interesting hairstyles. From the classic beehive through to whatever the hell is going on with Senku, we have picked ten characters whose hair is just out of this world. Next week’s list will be upon us soon, so pick which list you’d most like to see.

Had enough of us brushing off your favourite hairy character? Did you think the all-hairy Cousin It should have had a say? What about Rapunzel? Did we get the right characters in, or did we forget an important hairball? Was our order just right, or did we part our hair incorrectly? As ever, share your thoughts with us in the comments below, or on our Facebook or Twitter channels.

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3 responses

  1. I was really happy to see Jareth on the list and then I got to Ruby and I just thought that was a great pick. Very fun list this week.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2019 at 10:03 am

    • Excellent, good to hear we got some you wanted to see in! Any other ideas for characters that should or could have been in?

      Liked by 1 person

      August 31, 2019 at 11:32 pm

      • Probably most of the characters in Shiki. None of them have sensible hair.

        Liked by 1 person

        August 31, 2019 at 11:34 pm

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