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Gaming posts

Dubious Double | A Magic: the Gathering Discussion

(Foreword: Thanks to Joel for hearing me out on this idea one night and helping develop it. These theoretical card designs were created using mtg.design)

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Top 10 Secrets In Games

GeekOut Top 10s

The media form so massive that it’s possible to leave thousands of details for the players to uncover… or never to uncover. Sometimes they’ll discover it decades later, or maybe players have to travel the world to uncover the truth, or devote hours monitoring every little detail. Sometimes it’s an easter egg, sometimes it’s facts about the game dispersed throughout the game or hidden behind puzzles so elaborate, it’s impossible to even begin to know how to begin!

Here we have pointed large neon signs at some of the best secrets, and some of our favourite secrets from games.


Top 10

10) Minecraft Level – Borderlands 2

Tucked away in the Caustic Caverns alongside yet more failed mining efforts from the Dahl corporation you can encounter yet more of the alien geography and local fauna that is encountered nowhere else on Pandora, a set of strange stone cubes, oddly destructible and mysteriously filled with guns and money. Wandering among these cubes are cubic beasts with green skin, usually an indicator of corrosive damage, but these explode like a Torgue teapot!

It’s not even as subtle as I’m implying, the brazen Minecraft section also includes head and skin drops that give you the pixelated, block headed look of a Minecraft character, but far more heavily armed. Just right of where the mine tracks terminate, it’s a well concealed little corner, tough for even the most thorough explorers, but these days that Easter Egg is pretty well known.

9) M’aiq the Liar – The Elder Scrolls Series

M’aiq tells many lies, or does he? M’aiq is one of the more entertaining recurring characters of The Elder Scrolls franchise. He moves very fast, to where it’s not possible to keep up with him ordinarily (there are always ways). People love to find M’aiq, as he’s always got a little story to share. I think Skyrim fans may recognise the line “Werewolves? Where? Wolves? Many wolves.” (this is paraphrased a bit).

M’aiq may be a bit more than people first thought though. The developers at Bethesda have used M’aiq to say what they (and many fans of the series) have been thinking. As an avid Elder Scrolls Online player, one of my favourite quotes from the MMO comes from M’aiq, where he says the following:

M’aiq asked an Argonian if she could breathe underwater. She asked if he could see in the dark. M’aiq had no good answer

This refers to the fact that in all other Elder Scrolls games, Argonians can breathe underwater and Khajiits get Night Vision. M’aiq knows many things, though M’aiq tells them through riddles.

8) Rattmann’s Ramblings – Portal 2

Ever masters of storytelling and cunning set design, the Portal team seeded Portal 2 with little narrative nuggets in the form of hidden chambers covered in graffiti, filled with assorted trash, and strongly implying that someone is living there, a poet, a dreamer, a scientist, a paranoid maniac who has lost his mind, who has deified Chel, and painted her in murals across every wall praising her as the saviour against the nightmarish all-seeing horror that dosed him with nerve gas and left him alone to crawl through the tunnels.

Doug Rattman also drops some seriously alarming truthbombs. He may have been wrong about the cake, but there’s an unsubtle hint that Chel’s surname is Johnson… yes, that Johnson, a theory backed up by a potato project, the one that may have taken over the science fair. Possibly the daughter of Caroline/GLaDOS, between his graffiti, his art, and the slowed down gibbers audible in some of his secluded hideaways. The contents of Lab Rat also tell how he bridged the gap between titles, have a read.

7) Piston Honda – Punch Out

Short one, but cunning. Punch Out for the NES is staggeringly well animated for the console it’s on and the simplicity of the mechanics. Look for the unique tells of each fighter that communicate, not only the punch that’s coming, but also a little of the personality of each. It makes the game feel like each fight is unique, rather than the same repetition of dodges and punches.

But Piston Honda’s most subtle tell came from a fan of his in the audience, who could apparently see something we couldn’t. There’s a tiny cluster of pixels that is set apart from the rest of the crowd because of his distinctive beard who ducks reactively when a big hit is coming. He’s the one to keep an eye on, because he’s clearly studied Piston’s fighting style more thoroughly than we have.

6) The Hidden Path – Grim Dawn

The Crate team love their secret hiding places, a reward for anyone willing to click anything or try any direction that looks vaguely path-like. Go hunting and you’ll eventually find hidden merchants, chest behind walls, torches that turn revealing hidden chambers, and The Hidden Path, an enormous questline seeded across Cairn and right on your very doorstep.

East from Burrwitch prison, there’s a path through shallow water leading to a blast point. Set your dynamite and start a journey filled with tough as nails bosses, clues to unravel, and ending in a visually stunning combat with great rewards. Along the way you learn about the Witch Gods who form the backbone of the game’s most recent DLC, and discover things about the world of Grim Dawn that make the hack-n-slash deeper than your average RPG setting.

5) The Chris Houlihan Room – The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past

Well this is a cute one isn’t it? A fan entered a competition for a Nintendo Power magazine back in 1990 and in 1992, Nintendo made a room in his honour. Although, due to the lack of information available at the time, the Chris Houlihan Room was often seen, but very few people really understood what the purpose of the room was. Instead, they’d stumble into this room, get quite confused, take their treasures and leave.

There’s nothing inherently strange about this either; in the early days of gaming, competitions in magazines were common and the developers loved the response. So they added in the Chris Houlihan Room, a room filled with Blue Rupees. There’s then a sign on the wall at the far end, which reads as follows: “My name is Chris Houlihan. This is my top secret room. Keep it between us, okay?”

No, Chris. No. I’m sharing your room today and you can’t stop me.

4) The 24 Year Secret – Doom II

There’s a stage in Doom II that could never be “100 percented”, only 90% could ever be reached. By travelling around the map and exploring for more guns and ammo you’ll occasionally see a pop-up message that says “secret found”, and finding and unlocking them all has been impossible for twenty four years since the game’s release. And then Zero Master finds it.

Rock Paper Shotgun, Polygon, Screenrant and so many others made a huge deal out of… what is essentially a bland and tiny little moment in a fast paced and intense game, that requires an absurd amount of effort to set up. The location of the secret has – apparently – been known for a while, and understood to be impossible to attain because of the positioning of certain level elements that make it possible only to stand on top of it without ever interacting, unless you get a pain elemental to spawn a soul on your head while your stood in the exact right place, forcing you to be pushed downward through world elements and into the trigger spot!

A game approaching twenty five years old can finally be completed.

2) Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth vs Reverse Castle – Castlevania: Symphony of the Night’s

Sometimes it’s easier to just think about things from a conceptual level – and these secrets are simply ridiculous. Both of which required the players to think thoroughly outside of the box. However, which is the better secret?

Binding of Isaac Afterbirth

Cicada 3301 is one beast of a puzzle requiring astonishingly diverse technical and historical knowledge, a capacity for lateral thinking, and the tenacity to see it through. There are theories that it was used as a recruiting mechanism for some secret organisation somewhere! Said organisation may want to look to the people who unlocked this easter egg.

I daren’t even go into the obscenely long details, that required an internet scavenger hunt through link after link, decoding hidden messages, and sending people off on a real life scavenger hunt for a tiny figurine that led to a twitter account that had to be filled with tweets before the developers closed it off and released a new character for every player! It’s something of a leviathan for the serious fans to have conquered, because knowledge of the game down to the near-granular level.

Reverse Castle – Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

The Reverse Castle is one of those really cool secrets that just blew me away. When you play through Symphony of the Night, you find Richter and go ahead and kill him. That’s it, game complete – Though it’s bizarre to have a Castlevania game not feature Dracula – In fact, this is what puzzled so many fans. The game was fantastic in its own right, but why on Earth was Dracula not there?

Turns out, he was.

If you don’t kill Richter, you get a quest to go about and find some body parts for, you guessed it, Dracula. This is the true ending of the game that a lot of fans missed. Killing Richter seemed like the logical thing to do, if you look at how the game is structured. It’s a fascinating foray into how to, quite literally, turn expectations on its head. Besides, you don’t get the true ending without doing this.

1) Every Ending and Everything – Doki Doki Literature Club

Having this at number one almost feels like a cheat, but when you think about what Doki Doki Literature Club is, it deserved the top spot. A game built on secrets, portraying itself as a game that it is not… and let’s not even begin to get into how many strange real-world treasure hunts people had to go on. Let’s go through a couple of the secrets and I’ll try not to give away too much of the plot.

When you play through, the game acts like a Dating Sim. What you actually are presented with is a horror visual novel, but you don’t realise it until it’s too late. With files that rewrite themselves, with you having to delve into your Steam folders and with images that’ll definitely disturb some viewers, Doki Doki goes from a pleasant romp of a protagonist who joins a Literature club as he has to join a club at least.

Some of the secrets include hidden audio, whole distortions to how the game looks, a menu screen that keeps changing, monochromatic images… And that’s just a couple of the in-game secrets. With secret images which had to be analysed, websites being found, leading onto secret projects, this game wasn’t a game… It was a secret finding experience.

Honourable Mentions

Not every secret is so secret, once they’re out, they’re everywhere. In our honourable mentions this week we raise a couple of such “secrets” that were once hidden, and became renowned, thus eliminating the secrecy…

Warp Zones – Super Mario Bros

Duh duh duh duh-duh duh, duhh.

Now that the theme’s stuck in your head, let’s talk about the famous Warp Zones of Super Mario Bros.

Considered one of video games worst-kept secrets, the Warp Zones are a way to quickly get through Super Mario Bros. without glitching the game. You can get to a Warp Zone in a variety of ways, but the most famous one is the one at the end of the pipe level in World 1 (World 1-2 specifically). Getting to it is simple – Get on top of the blocks where your score and everything is kept – run along the top and jump down at the end to get to three pipes.

These three pipes will take you to worlds 2, 3 and 4 respectively. If you go into world 4, you can eventually find a block that unleashes some vines leading up, off the map. Climbing these vines makes it so you go to another Warp Zones. This is how speedrunners achieve ridiculously good speeds at Super Mario Bros.

Oh and I haven’t even spoken about glitching through the world 1-2 pipe and wall at the end, which takes you to 1 Warp Zones pipe, which takes you to world -1. Yeah, Super Mario Bros. is a glitchy, fun title.

Moo Moo Farm (The Secret Cow Level) – Diablo 2

In keeping with the theme of well known, memorable secrets in video games, who could forget Moo Moo Farm? I personally love this stage and it was a great way to get yourself some experience and lots of gear. It was entertaining, tricky enough to find (except the invention of the internet meant it was incredibly easy to find it all) and yeah, it was fun. But it all stems from a seemingly innocuous item; Wirt’s Leg.

By using the Horadric Cube, you could combine Wirt’s Leg with a Tome of Town Scroll Portal. On doing this, you create a hellish looking portal. Travel through and it’ll come up saying “Entering Moo Moo Farm”. You know you’re in for a tough fight when a bunch of cows wielding halberds coming swinging at you. You’d better moo-ve it, as these bovine brawlers seriously pack a punch.


Keep this one under your hat, okay? We were never here, neither were you. Leave your vote at the door, and we’ll see you back here next week. Mum’s the word, and we didn’t even tell you that, you hear me?

Were there any secrets that we couldn’t uncover. Does your favourite still remain elusive, never ever tell us what we missed in the comments, or on Facebook and Twitter. People might overhear, the truth could get out, and we will not be held responsible for that!

Hey, this is a secret! Say “I nose it” in the comments to show you found this secret. Your reward is this video.

Endless Character Sheets

Today’s article is late, that is a fact. Which is not to say that I’m sat staring at a blank page in desperation trying to reach a deadline, no I’m being quite productive. Folder after folder is filling up with 5e character sheets ready for this Summer’s Insomnia, at which I will again play ten games in four days, and as each session is only two hours long, better to get the character sheets ready than to have people prepare their characters at the table.

With such efforts comes practice, and better yet comes an abundance of other characters from which I can copy and paste important content like class features that require a certain amount of abridging to be made palatable to new players who might be daunted by enormous blocks of text. It’s now very little effort to actually fill in the basics, but with that comes a freedom to get experimental, and at I65, I’ll be bringing a few experiments, because we’re playing a few Plane Shift games. And so as not to give away too much, I’ll only be introducing you to one team…

Khef Crop: Amonkhet

Welcome one and all to the trial of strength! Pulling a few rules from the guidelines set out in Plane Shift: Amonkhet article, the group will step into the sandals of the surviving members of Khef Crop, each bearing the cartouches of both the trials of solidarity and knowledge, now they fight their way along the Luxa river, the mighty god Rhonas looming nearby as a beatific tutor and pitiless judge. For these heroes, there is only one class, Initiate, but in each case I have multiclassed like mad and modified a hell of a lot. I’ve also been going by a slightly more old-school approach to character creation, rolling stats in order having already decided on the race. Here are some of the characters I’ve come up with…

The Naga: A mixture of the cleric of strength and a worshipper of Rhonas himself, and a fighter battle-master. The character has spells to lend a degree of utility outside of combat, much of which is healing but still potentially useful, and I added the maneuvre Sidewind, which allows the Naga to make a heavy hitting attack and immediately disengage from combat, allowing him or her to evade the worst of retaliation, or perhaps land somewhere to threaten someone new. The cleric elements reflect the Naga’s ability to overcome the trials that came before, but here is where he or she is most desperate to shine.

The Devotee: Revering the God Pharaoh first and foremost (hey, it’s not their fault he’s a manipulative dragon planeswalker), and borrowing some inspiration from these warlock invocations that I absolutely adore, this character uses the one listed as Blades of Demogorgon and makes it Horns of the God Pharaoh. I also added Torment of Scarabs because this pdf doesn’t have invocations for Xanathar’s Guide to Everything cantrips, this makes Infestation a concentration spell that consumes your bonus action to maintain. The Devotee has a little bit of rogue in them to add greater potency to their weapon attacks, and lend a bit of evasiveness to the famous glass-cannon.

The Khenra: Khenra come in pairs, it is very rare for the jackal-headed folk to be born as anything other than twins, so hey, let’s stay in-lore shall we? Both are a classic blend of barbarian and fighter, and I added an element of an Amonkhet card I liked and threw in some mechanics I knew would work. Consuming Fervour (fervor in the American spelling) steals a little from the Scourge Aasimar, upping the damage of the barbarian Rage, and taking some extra damage back in kind. Well that’s fine, right? You can just end the Rage whenever? Well not if you’ve got a mean spirited DM who decided to make it impossible to end a rage unless your doused in water.

I might change one of these two subtly, possibly lending a complimentary variation of Rage, or perhaps shifting the balance of classes more in favour of fighter than barbarian… TBD.

The Aven: The Aven might end up as the only pure-class character in the crop, but lately I have been making a lot of wizard subclasses, so expect some homebrew materials no matter what. Having an Aven in the Crop makes my designs a lot more three-dimensional, so there should be a few options to make other people fly in there as well so that everyone can enjoy.

And that makes five… leaving one more. So far I have characters reflecting four colours, leaving only white to go…

Well I have to leave something a surprise for the day. And I still have two more planes to work on.


Board Game Review: The Quacks of Quedlinburg (Quacks)

Being introduced to this game purely as ‘Quacks’, I was expecting a game about ducks. Turns out this is actually all about quack doctors; quackery, as per the Wikipedia term, is in regards to “fraudulent or ignorant pretender to medical skill“. Now that your duck-based expectations are out of the way, The Quacks of Quedlinburg is an entertaining, simple, easy to play little romp through potion creation. If you’ve ever wanted to make some of the strangest potions imaginable in board game form, then this may be the game for you. Are you interested in how making potions translates to a board game? Read on to find out more!

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Top 10 – Druid-Type Characters

GeekOut Top 10s

To be one with nature is the way of the druid; whether it’s to be one with their more animalistic side, or unleashing a plant-based frenzy. Druids are a huge archetype in gaming, but today we’re not going to look at whether a character is called a druid. Instead, we’re going to check out and celebrate the idea of a druid. In this week’s Top 10, there’ll be some strange entries, as you may not have thought of them as druids, or they may be a perfect fit to the term. (more…)


TDSM XI – Wake Up World

So these are exciting times. Three people today have sent me an article about other professional DMs around the world (many of whom charge a damnsite more than I do), and this hobby that was just barely sticking its nose out from its niche back in the mid 2000’s when I was learning to play is suddenly an industry that’s riding the growing e-sports and game-streaming trend to prosperity and greatness, spurred on by the likes of us who dare to charge the uninitiated into the ranks of character creators and story tellers.

And it’s not just Bloomberg who have sat up and taken notice. (more…)


UKGE Kickstarter Roundup – Part 2

Here we are again, several weeks after UK Games Expo and I finially got round to fulfilling that promise of a second roundup of Kickstarter projects from UKGE 2019. All of these projects are in various states but as far as we know the Kickstarter has not been launched as yet but they certainly interested us.

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Gaming Achievements – Share Your Memories

Last night, whilst playing Elder Scrolls Online, I managed to finally do something that had taken me months to do. I cleared Veteran Maelstrom Arena with no deaths, giving me a brand new title in the process, The Flawless Conqueror. Arguably the hardest solo content in ESO, I was so chuffed to have done it at last. To make it better, I did it on a class that doesn’t often get through Veteran Maelstrom Arena, as showcased by the lack of entries on the leaderboard. Today, I’d like to step back, chat about gaming achievements and open this up to you, to share yours with us.

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Top 10 Powerful Magic: the Gathering Cards

Magic: the Gathering is a game best enjoyed with almost any number of people. When you play, you can end up facing a deck that is outright stronger than yours. This wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the fact that sometimes, it’s because of one specific card. This one card can change the course of a game, or even end it. As avid Magic: the Gathering fans, we’d like to offer you to have a look at some of Magic’s most powerful cards…

… That aren’t banned!

GeekOut Top 10s

Before we get into this though, we just wanted to say these aren’t factually the most powerful cards out there. These are some powerful game changers that we’ve either experienced or have knowledge about. There may be (definitely are) more powerful ones out there.


Top 10

10) Ob Nixilis the Fallen

This card may be more powerful than we’re giving it credit for, but when you consider how easy it is to handle, we didn’t put it any higher. Ob Nixilis the Fallen is a 5 Converted Mana Cost (CMC) 6/6 demon who deals 3 damage and gets 3 +1/+1 counters placed on it when you play a land. Couple this with a card as simple as Evolving Wilds, which is a land that allows you to sacrifice it to search for a land and put that on the battlefield, there’s 6 damage and 6 1/1 counters immediately.

I know the power of this card; at a 6/6, he’s too big for a lot of basic red spells. Black has a few destroys and White has a few situational destroys. Blue can counter it and green can out-size it if they get it early. The real power of Ob is he doesn’t need to lift a finger. You can throw hexproof on him, sit back and just enjoy the absurd size he’ll ramp up to. Trust me, as I have him in my Landfall deck, pairing him with The Gitrog Monster and World Shaper, now THAT is brutality.

9) Battle of the Hydras

Green likes big monsters, green makes big monsters and makes big monsters bigger. It’s monsters like hydras that exemplify green’s ethos, you create a mass of land and fuel an unimaginable horror. Here are three of the biggest and scariest, vote for your favourite at the end:

Managorger Hydra

Think twice about casting spells, especially in multiplayer games, because a Managorger gets out of hand quickly, especially when a red and/or blue deck is in play, and spells are being dropped on the field like it’s raining fire… and rain. It tramples, it costs three mana, and left to sit and stew unchallenged it is a nightmare.

Heroes’ Bane

Seems costly, but here’s another Hydra that takes very little effort to spiral out of control, especially with the vast mana output of your average green deck. A pair of Dictates of Karametra means every mana you tap doubles this beasty. Prepare to ask uncomfortable questions like “how many zeroes define a trillion” (it’s 24).

Hydra Broodmaster

Finally, another costly one, but in terms of explosive growth, Broodmaster’s “Monstrous” ability takes a big monster, and as well as making it bigger, give it some big and scary friends. You can cheaply give yourself a 1/1, but put some backbone into that mana output and give yourself a pack of 8/8 nasties sitting alongside big momma 15/15. Then make ‘em trample.

8) Tarmogoyf

It sounds pretty feeble to say that a Tarmogoyf can maximise at 8/9 assuming you’ve optimised its potential, and has no keywords that make it more daunting. It’s a 0/1 creature that grows for every card type in every graveyard, meaning it’ll average around a 3/4 (creatures, instants and sorceries are the most likely to end up in the graveyard) but it can grow with a little effort.

But it costs a mere 2 mana… for a creature that averages 3/4… Most “2 drops” are half that, less with a keyword, usually only 1/1 or thereabouts if they have a power of any interest, meaning an average ‘Goyf should cost twice what it does. Now throw the occasional enchantment or Giant Growth onto that horror and it’s an early game bomb that tips the scales heavily in your direction before the game is properly under way.

7) Slivers

Previously relegated to the honourables list for being several cards instead of one, and in truth there aren’t many if any that are particularly powerful in their own right. With a few Slivers you have a cruel host that boost one another’s stats and adds keywords like Trample and Deathtouch. The bigger and nastier Slivers can be pulled from the library, make them indestructible, and make every one that comes into play steal something of your opponent’s.

They are the ultimate tribal synergy, lacking the restrictions of allies, more diverse than humans, and packing a punch more deadly than elves. And they simply don’t die… not in game, I mean historically speaking, Slivers just keep reappearing in new sets, these days it tends to be in Master’s sets, but there’s always new Core on the horizon.

6) Deathrite Shaman

Graveyards are a resource in the right hands, that is why the ability to exile cards became a growing necessity. Your undead minions can be returned to unlife, your expended spells are not as lost as they seem, and one short Delve can make an obscenely high cost disgustingly low. And the right card can also feed off the graveyards of others.

Have rid of a creature that you don’t want coming back, and use it to feed your life total. Be rid of that flashback or split card and deal some damage in the process, or just bolster your own resources by getting rid of land that wasn’t even yours. All of these abilities are tragically cheap, and the fact that the Shaman has to tap for it is its greatest limitation. But for the cost, it adds versatility and power in the early game that’s hard to rival.

5) Traumatize

Everybody loves mill decks right? What says fun quite like watching your entire library pour into your deck while your life remains relatively untouched? Oh boy, do you need to draw more cards to keep your immediate options open? Sure you don’t want to leave your cards in your library where they’re safe? Does writing an entire paragraph in rhetorical questions helping emphasize exactly how bad milling feels?

Traumatize in a mill deck is relatively high cost at five mana, but it very literally cuts your work in half, a single cast halves your opponent’s deck, meaning all those little cards like Mind Sculpts and Manic Scribe have gone from mild problems that have banished your favourites just tantalisingly out of reach (unless your a black deck, but your graveyard isn’t invulnerable), and worse yet, if you’re already under the influence of a Fraying Sanity then that Traumatize is suddenly as good as an instant-win.

4) Snapcaster Mage

Blue is a colour that wants to control the pace of a game. They want to make sure you don’t get your actions off the way you’d want. They may counter your cards, they may return cards to your hands, or outright take control of them. Blue loves to mess with you and watch you as you waste your mana. So then when Snapcaster Mage was introduced, blue players were completely at ease with their control game.

An expensive card to buy, Snapcaster Mage has a lot of power for quite cheap. At 3 mana, you get a 2/1 with Flash. 2/1 isn’t particularly exciting, but it’s the fact it has Flash that makes this so special. At any point, you can cast this and trigger its main ability. You choose an instant or sorcery card from within your graveyard and give it Flashback until the end of the turn. Your opponents rallied back up? Aetherspouts. Your opponents have a powerful card incoming? Cancel. You name it, you can get it if it’s already in your graveyard.

This creature is a great way to keep the magic flowing.

3) Lightning Bolt

The humble tool of red. The humble, painful tool. Let me explain something real quick; one mana can sometimes summon in a 2/2 creature… and a 3/3 at a push. Therefore, Lightning Bolt in turn 1 has a check against pretty much every creature that comes into play on turn one. However, some creatures that cost 4, 5, 6 mana only have 3 toughness. With one red mana, Lightning Bolt deals with them.

Naturally, Lightning Bolt doesn’t have to be cast on a creature. Indeed, players and Planeswalkers are equally doomed. However, it’s worth pointing out that when a Planeswalker is played, the player playing it technically gets priority so can use a Planeswalker ability as soon as it comes onto the field. Nevertheless, it’s still 3 damage which can be flung around with ease. Many creatures aren’t safe and 3 damage is more than a tenth of your life total in a one vs one game… On turn 1. For 1 mana.

Remember that Planeswalker rule, guys…

2) Thoughtseize

It’s easy to forget that for some decks, life is no mere countdown timer to death, but as much a resource as mana, creatures, library and the contents of one’s graveyard. Black decks in particular are masters at using every part of the animal, so do not easily dismiss Thoughtseize for digging a chunk out of your life. For a single mana you can pull a nasty tooth from your opponent’s hand.

Most cards of the ilk, like Duress or Divest limit your options to certain card types, meaning that while you can see that big horrible spell or creature that you’d really rather be elsewhere, you may not be able to do anything about it. Thoughtseize has a high price, but it’s still an early game advantage, slows the pace of progress for your opponent, and it’s not like you won’t be getting that life back any time soon.

1) Jace, the Mind Sculptor

… Remember that Planeswalker rule, guys?

This was the topic of some debate between Joel and I when we came up with this list. Once we realised the way that Planeswalker priority worked, we realised this already ridiculous card just topped the list. Oh and to make it better, this card was originally banned, but has since come out of the ban list on every format that it’s playable in. This is mostly due to a couple of blocks coming out with new ways to deal with Planeswalkers.

However, play cards from other sets and you limit your potential to deal with these nasty cards. Sure, you can counter them and sure, creatures can kill them, but let’s not pretend that makes Jace a push-over. With a base loyalty of 3 and with its first ability being a +2, it’s no wonder this guy can survive pretty well. However, if anyone gets to that -12, it’s definitely game over.


Honourable Mentions

Remember that bit where I said “… That aren’t banned!”? I do too, so let’s talk about two fun examples of banned cards that are ridiculous. One of them is the undisputed king of power; the other isn’t a card, but it’s something we really do need to discuss, as it’s a well known part of Magic…

Black Lotus

The undisputed most powerful card in all of Magic: the Gathering; the ability to get a lot for absolutely nothing. You get 3 mana of any one colour just by tapping this 0 mana artifact and sacrificing it. There’s a really easy way to describe how powerful this card is…

Remember earlier how we mentioned Lightning Bolt was 1 mana for 3 damage to any target? Imagine on turn 1 playing that card, converting all of the mana to red mana and then doing three of those in one hit. Oh, but then you may have played one mana that turn and you may potentially have your fourth Lightning Bolt in hand. That means, on turn 1, that’s theoretically possible to do 12 damage to your opponent, just because you had this card. Another 8 damage and you win in a one vs one game. Naturally this is an extremely unlikely scenario, but it’s not impossible.

The power of Black Lotus is insane. However, this card is outright banned across the board, with the exception of a Restricted status in Vintage.

Oh – And this card is rare and expensive as hell.

Emrakul the Aeons Torn

The power of Emrakul is legendary… And the only way for her to not be a threat anymore was for her to be banished to the moon.

Anyway, ignoring the actual implications behind the card, this cthulhu-esque creature is effectively the most powerful card of the Eldrazi. These otherworldly beings are absurd with their Annihilator keyword, allowing them to force you to remove permanents from your side of the field, just when they attack. This means that they’re removed before anything else happens, so you can’t even defend with something that’s about to evaporate.

Emrakul did come with a hefty cost at 15 CMC, but that’s not the end of her world. What made her truly terrifying was how easy it was to summon Eldrazi Spawns. Couple this with the powerful and versatile enchantment Doubling Season, Emrakul would have all of her Spawns sacrificed and she comes in, uncounterable. She gives her user an extra turn and she has protection from coloured spells. Basically, Emrakul is power.

However, we were going to add her to the main list, until we discovered she was banned from Commander. Following our own rules, we couldn’t have a card even this absurdly powerful in our main list, as it is banned in a format.


This is our End Phase, for we’ve checked out some of the most powerful cards in Magic: the Gathering. Whilst this list wasn’t grounded in factual evidence, a lot of the above is through our knowledge of the game. Yes, there are more powerful cards out there, such as the whole of the Power Nine, but these are real game-changers. Now, it’s time for you to change our game by voting for next week’s Top 10.

Another week has passed and hoo boy, am I ever exhausted? I think I’m tapped out. Perhaps I’ve spent all of my mana this turn. So tell me, what is your CMC and what are your favourite powerful cards in Magic: the Gathering? Perhaps you play a similar Trading Card Game which has equally absurd cards? Share your thoughts and comments below, or over on our Facebook and Twitter pages.


Hero Forge Has Been Busy

You guys know Hero Forge?

The service has been running for a few years now, one of the cheapest and easiest ways of getting hold of custom miniatures, 3D printed to order using a simple creator that grants a range of options in multiple genres. Without question their largest range of options has been in fantasy, but they’re far from lacking for those who want to make sci-fi, cyberpunk, modern, or eastern miniatures. (more…)