Top 10 Monsters in the Snow

Well the weather outside was briefly frightful, but there’s worse waiting out in the snow than slippery roads and cold feet. Every flurry hides a horror that waits to prey upon the uncertain and the weak, every snowdrift has teeth that threaten to sink through thick coats and into nice warm flesh. So this festive season, let’s focus on the scariest part of winter, the beasts that haunt the tundra, and frozen places.

Here are our Top 10 monsters that wait for you out there in the snow.

GeekOut Top 10s

Well the weather outside was briefly frightful, but there’s worse waiting out in the snow than slippery roads and cold feet. Every flurry hides a horror that waits to prey upon the uncertain and the weak, every snowdrift has teeth that threaten to sink through thick coats and into nice warm flesh. So this festive season, let’s focus on the scariest part of winter, the beasts that haunt the tundra, and frozen places.

Here are our Top 10 monsters that wait for you out there in the snow.

Continue reading “Top 10 Monsters in the Snow”

Top 10 Films That Were Better Than The Books

Last week, we looked at Films That Were Better As Books. Those were films where the original source material was better than the films that was produced. In today’s Top 10, we’re flipping that on its head – Looking at the times when the films were better than the books. A lot of people say you can’t beat a good novel, but we beg to differ, as we check out our Top 10 Films That Were Better Than The Books.

GeekOut Top 10s

Last week, we looked at Films That Were Better As Books. Those were films where the original source material was better than the films that was produced. In today’s Top 10, we’re flipping that on its head – Looking at the times when the films were better than the books. A lot of people say you can’t beat a good novel, but we beg to differ, as we check out our Top 10 Films That Were Better Than The Books.

Continue reading “Top 10 Films That Were Better Than The Books”

Top 10 – Good Prequels

The word “prequel” sends shivers down the spine of every fan of an IP, be it book, film, game, or otherwise. Not the good kind of shivers either. But once in a while we are spared our apprehension and given that rare and wonderful thing, an enjoyable prequel that serves the original well.

GeekOut Top 10s

The word “prequel” sends shivers down the spine of every fan of an IP, be it book, film, game, or otherwise. Not the good kind of shivers either. But once in a while we are spared our apprehension and given that rare and wonderful thing, an enjoyable prequel that serves the original well.

Now, let us be clear that we are in no way saying that these prequels are better than their original properties, just that they did a good job of trying to tell the story before the story starts. They might make us see the original in a totally different way, add context, close plotholes, or just be fun to watch in their own right. With that in mind let us get into our Top 10 Good Prequels.


Top 10

10) The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay

Starting with an unusual one, the video games Escape from Butcher Bay and Assault on Dark Athena were highly regarded, in fact by many they’re regarded as being better than the films, detailing the bloody escape from triple max prison of one Richard B Riddick, earning him the infamy he boasts from Pitch Black onwards.

Graphics are very early 00’s, but Starbreeze delivered an excellent stealth/action game with some of the best voice acting from Diesel himself, Ron Perlman, and Michael Rooker. Riddick is easily a better game character than film character, but I still love Pitch Black and damn you if you say otherwise.

9) Star Trek: Enterprise

Enterprise was set before the events of the original series, and over the course of its four seasons we witness the dawn of teleporters, the coming together of species (politically and physically), the foundations of the prime directive, and humanity finding its place among the older space faring races.

It stands among the greats, with incredible stories, performances, and characters, lending new insights into the Star Trek universe and creating something new and enjoyable in the process. Captain Archer may not stand up to Picard, Kirk or Sisco (sorry Janeway, but… y’know) but he’s still an excellent centerpiece for characters who are the equal of any other Starfleet crew. And Floxx is a comedic masterpiece.

8) X-Men: First Class

The X-Men series of films doesn’t get enough love. No really, they don’t – There were a few rough films (and the more of us that forget about X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the better.) However, what the X-Men series has always managed to achieve is a wealth of excellent characters introduced in a relatively simple to understand plot. The overall plot is convoluted, but each contained story within is easy to digest.

As such, when the X-Men franchise got a soft reboot in the form of a sort of prequel, it’s no wonder that it did so well. Of course, First Class isn’t the only prequel in the series – There are a number of them, including: X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men: Apocalypse and next year we’ll be treated to X-Men: Dark Phoenix.

The series is always a joy to watch, even if I personally think they’ll never beat X-2.

7) Hannibal – The TV Series

Here I profess to having never watched Hannibal, but I’m willing to concede public opinion when I’m repeatedly told that something is worth a watch. While no one will best Anthony Hopkins for portraying the cannibalistic gentleman, of those who could at least make an effort Mads Mikkelsen must surely be near the top of the list.

In his three seasons he is truly sinister and charismatic, and in the role of a psychologist turned serial-killer-coach it seems the part is almost tailored to him. The series serves as a prequel to Red Dragon, before even the novels, telling some of the early tales of the famous man-eater, telling an original story without compromising the original creation.

6) Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

Long before the events of Harry Potter, the wizarding world was still just as dangerous and as magical. In America, the No-Maj, or Muggles as we in England refer to them, lived somewhat obliviously to the magical world around them. Although in England the events of all things magical happen in their own secluded areas, such as Hogwarts or otherwise. No instead, the wizarding world is hidden in plain sight.

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them was a huge success, breathing new life into a franchise which had seemingly reached its apex. Where the series goes from here will be wild and wonderful – But it’s fascinating how many more tales from the wizarding world that J K Rowling could venture down, as some of the stories could be exceptional.

5) Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

Before the movie, the Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t quite as Wicked as she became. Elphaba, the Wicked Witch as we know her, is actually not all that wicked as we’re first made to believe in the original Wizard of Oz. In fact, she’s interested in the politics of the land of Oz and it turns out that treachery and deception makes her the way that she is – The green skinned witch.

Wicked became a play, many, many years after the release of the novel. Not only was it a play, it was a hugely successful one. With a film on the way in 2019, if you’ve not had the opportunity to check this out, I’d highly recommend looking out for the film in the coming years. It’s going to be wicked!

4) Monsters University

Without question, this was the prequel that inspired the list, and may even be the best prequel I have ever seen. We bring together Sully and Mike at University, and while it may not be easy for John Goodman and Billy Crystal to play teenagers, the characters are brilliantly rolled back to their younger and more arrogant selves. Mike is the nerd with delusions of grandeur, Sully is the lazy jock getting through on a scholarship he doesn’t deserve.

Watching the two overcome their differences to work together and bring their new friends from the bottom to the top of the MU pecking order casts new light upon their tight friendship at work many years later. Ok, so it’s a classic college film, the Dean is mean but ends up friendly, the mismatched pair get dumped with the frat of underdogs and losers, but come out on top. But with monsters! And Nathan Fillion!

3) Samurai X

Before the days of Rurouni Kenshin, the samurai was a lot more dark and gritty than we could ever have imagined. With the release of a 4 episode special known as Samurai X, we learned a lot about the dark past of the character, along with a perfect lead into the first episode of the highly popular anime. It was bloody, it was gritty and yes, Samurai X is one of the best anime prequels released.

I’d personally so far as to say it’s the best anime prequel – Granted it doesn’t have huge catalogues of other anime to go through with a prequel. In fact, off the top of my head, the only other anime I had was Dragon Ball Z’s Bardock. However, Samurai X was such a grim retelling, it made for most-see viewing. It’s stylish, it’s dark and yes, it’s everything you’d want from a story about samurai.

2) Star Wars Rogue One

I don’t think any of us expected to see episode 1-3 on this list, simply not going to happen. Rogue One on the other hand fed perfectly into the beginning of episode 4, and gave us a new hope (hah!) for the reign of Disney over the property. The elite force sent to gather the plans for the Empire’s new superweapon were always doomed to a tragic end, but the journey taken is nothing short of epic.

The film throws the evils of the Empire into far harsher relief than we have seen elsewhere, families torn apart, the oppression of an omnipresent regime, cities stripped of their wealth and then destroyed with space lasers, so that to hear Luke talking about joining the Rebels makes him seem a little more noble, and a lot more naive, unaware of the kind of horrors that he is putting himself against.

1) Castlevania III – Dracula’s Curse

WHAT IS A MAN?!

Well before Simon Belmont became a fixture name in Castlevania, there was a name even more powerful in the Belmont family. Trevor. Trevor Belmont was the first man to go and take down the evil Dracula. Say what you will about Castlevania, but it’s a franchise that not only has stood the test of the time, but it is partially responsible for creating a genre that is still inspiring games today with Metroidvania.

Frequently getting into Top 10 lists for Best NES games ever released, Castlevania III introduced some amazing new mechanics, such as mid-air jumping and wall climbing in the form of Grant Danasty. Along with Trevor, being able to switch between companions is a hugely important addition to the franchise – Without this game, we’d probably not have seen any more continuations of the legendary Castlevania series.


Honourable Mentions

Some things are just good – No matter how you look at it. Some things are good, but sorta not quite on the level as the above list. Whatever you think about our next two entries, they both were definitely well received additions to their respective franchises.

The Thing

Bit of a polarising one, and would have been considerably less so if the practical effects work in the film had been left broadly untouched, because a lot of effort had been made to ape the style of the 1982 horror masterpiece. The 2011 prequel was actually very well written and directed, but there’s no question that thanks to studio fiddling it became a poster child for the evils of CGI against practical puppetry.

There’s still the air of mistrust and suspicion, and the terror of the beast. Watching it embrace someone and absorb him into its amorphous mass is grisly, and you feel the fear on the poor man’s face as he’s devoured. Watching someone’s head split open to reveal the lashing tendrils and rows of wicked teeth, knowing that three people are trapped in a helicopter with it is a tense moment unmatched in the ‘82 film. The CGI took a hefty chunk out of the enjoyability of The Thing prequel, but give it another shot, it’s still a damn good film.

Puss in Boots

When Shrek 2 came out, everybody was infatuated with the newest (and sassiest) character introduced. It was the lovable little orange fuzzball himself; Puss in Boots! We all loved him, from his cute eyes, to that little hat and the boots he wore. Oh and it helps that this cat bites back, with a razor sharp tongue and an equally as dangerous rapier. Yes, Puss in Boots is cute but deadly!

Of course, the Puss in Boots standalone film was considered a success. Similar to how the Minions movie was out not too long ago, there seems to be something to be said about lovable, cuddly mascot characters and their own films. Sure, Puss in Boots wasn’t anything special, but it gave you a bit more story about him in his own adventure.


Extra Honourable Mention

Timlah reporting!

I knew I wanted to get a mention in to this film, because this is incredibly convoluted… And I wasn’t a fan of the film/s, but I know people who are fans of it… So I’m playing devil’s advocate today and giving an extra honourable mention to:

The Hobbit

The Desolation of Smaug – What a fantastic title for a film! Of course, The Hobbit is a relatively average sized novel, featuring Bilbo Baggins and a crew of Dwarves. They go on journeys with Bilbo, who happens to be a Master Thief, in an attempt to save the Dwarves home. With the evil, dangerous Smaug in their home, it was up to Bilbo to steal a specific item to draw Smaug out so the Dwarves could reclaim their home.

It’s not a genius story and, in terms of chronological order, it was indeed a prequel to The Lord of the Rings… However, it’s not a prequel! The Hobbit was written first. When we came to Peter Jackson’s vision of the stories, he chose The Lord of the Rings to be translated to film. Then, many years on, he chose to go to The Hobbit to be the next trilogy. If only it was translated to one film.

So yes: It’s a prequel to The Lord of the Rings, but it’s actually not a prequel, as it was written first. So there!


If you thought I was originally good, you should have seen me before the original me! Whether or not you’re a fan of prequels, or if you think they’re a blatant way to spin some extra cash out of a story, they’ve been around for some time – and they won’t leave us any time soon. However, we’re now in the Christmas season – You know what that means, right? From next week onwards, our Top 10’s will be somewhat festive! Help us choose the first of our Festive Top 10’s:

That’s it for another week, we’ve gone back and re-examined the past and we’ve come to the conclusion that it was good. The future looks great, but the past was just stellar. But, what did you think of our Top 10 list this week? As always, if you think we missed any great options out, then let us know. Did we get the order right, or did we mess that up? As always, let us know your thoughts and opinions in the comments below, or over on Facebook and Twitter.

Top 10 – Severed Heads

GeekOut Top 10s

Next on the chopping block, a Top 10 that springs to mind when thinking of Hallowe’en. It was necks to impossible to pick from our examples, but we made some real headway and have ranked some examples that are truly head and shoulders above the rest and it’s heads, it’s severed, decapitated, removed from the body heads. You already knew that from the title, no need for the puns, after all if you read the title…

You’re already ahead of the punchline. Continue reading “Top 10 – Severed Heads”

Horror And Perspective

The first person view is the easiest way to instil fear in the viewer, the forced perspective makes the experience a lot more personal. The found footage subgenre is great at forcing us into the eyes of the victims and helping us share the experience side-by-side with them, and video games are starting to borrow a few tricks from found footage, such as camera tilting and jolting. Amnesia started those tricks early, having the camera drop to the floor in panic and crawl through a short and boring corridor.

There’s a growing amount of games that bring horror into new perspectives, Limbo, Little Nightmares, and Deadlight are all prime examples of platform horrors that shift the view of the player so that they act as witnesses, rather than active participants, but they employ some rather different methods to inspire dread: Continue reading “Horror And Perspective”

Top 10 – Shapeshifters

GeekOut Top 10s

Now you see me, now you don’t! Well you do, only I look like I’m someone completely different now. Hush, I can be exactly what you’re looking for, or become your worst nightmare. Yes, I’m a whole different type of beast; the kind who would rather walk right up to you and change before your very eye than to stalk you and take you out from the shadows.

I can only be talking about shapeshifters, those tricky little blighters who know how to get in the skin of their opposition: Literally! They manage to change forms, sometimes becoming entirely different creatures in the process, but fear not! This week we’re going to give you a run down of our Top 10 Shapeshifters, so you know what and who to look out for. Continue reading “Top 10 – Shapeshifters”

John Carpenter’s Apocalypse

It’s funny what you learn when you do research for other things.

In the process of putting together last weeks article Lovecraft, Films and TV I looked a little into John Carpenter’s The Thing, a classic mixture of body-horror, paranoia and cosmic horror. The concept of an immensely powerful creature descending from the stars with the power to devour us all has some rather eldritch horror elements, and while the origins for this story are more strongly tied to John W. Campbell’s “Who Goes There?” there’s no denying the impact of the Lovecraft contemporaries from a few years prior.

Did you know it was part of a trilogy?

I didn’t! Continue reading “John Carpenter’s Apocalypse”

Lovecraft, Films and TV

Despite the interpretations of Cthulhu that have rather missed the point (or understood it and gone cutesy anyway), the cultural impact of Howard Phillips Lovecraft is unmissable even if you don’t fully comprehend what you’re seeing. Computer games seem to be the chosen platform for recreating the mythos of his particular horror style, being able to properly immerse the player in the role of someone seeing their world view broken wide open, the shadows deepen and reach into their very soul. It’s effective, and may even have a more profound impact than the original literature, but there’s still so much that has yet to be explored. Continue reading “Lovecraft, Films and TV”

Top 10 Unfortunate Super Heroes

Up, up and away – Or at least that’s what these guys would want you to believe. No, these super heroes and heroines are a little bit more sad than their usual kind. Take for instance Superman. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t need to be afraid of much. He flies around, shoots heat lasers out of his eyes, can bench press entire planets and has literally unlimited power. In his real life he gets with the girl of his dreams and to make matters better, he’s a freakin’ alien who Earthlings don’t go “AAAH!” whenever they encounter him.

Up, up and away – Or at least that’s what these guys would want you to believe. No, these super heroes and heroines are a little bit more sad than their usual kind. Take for instance Superman. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t need to be afraid of much. He flies around, shoots heat lasers out of his eyes, can bench press entire planets and has literally unlimited power. In his real life he gets with the girl of his dreams and to make matters better, he’s a freakin’ alien who Earthlings don’t go “AAAH!” whenever they encounter him.

But that’s not always true in the world of super heroes. Instead, some of them have really rather tragic backgrounds, or powers that really make you question your sanity and if you’re reading (or seeing) correctly. Some of the heroes we’ve assembled are literally useless. But that’s fine. We love them as heroes regardless. So read on, for this weeks Top 10 is on some of the most Unfortunate Super Heroes.

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Top 10

10) Jubilee, X-Men

jubilee-2
Image Credit: Cheatsheet

Sorry Jubilee, but your genetically induced ability to make sparkly lights is not impressive, no matter how 1980’s you make yourself appear. In a super-team with people who can generate lights that do a great deal more damage than a few fireworks you’re not going to be much more than a distraction with a strong southern accent.

There are more tragic X-Men for sure, many with more heartbreaking backgrounds than even being orphaned and living in a secret hideaway, but most of those X-Men have the advantage of being a useful and functional member of the world-saving race of advanced humans. You may be a vampire now, but let’s face it “Jubilation” you started your career as a human sparkler.

9) Spawn

3396411-spawn+without+mask

Spawn is awesome, that’s a fact. He has a battery of powers that would let him pass as a DC character in a pinch, he can practically do anything between his living armour, shapeshifting cloak, limitless chain weapons, the traditional strength, reflexes and healing. So why is Spawn on this list?

The powers were given to Al Simmons by the devil Malebolgia after he was burned to death. Managed by his “agent” the clown known as the Violator, he is taught that he is a servant sent to drag sinners back to hell, and if he works like a good boy he gets to see his wife again, although you do have to wonder, will he have to keep his gross burned up face for the reunion? And Wanda’s new husband – Al’s best friend Terry – might get a little upset about the whole thing.

8) Kotetsu T. “Wild Tiger” Kaburagi, Tiger & Bunny

Kotetsu Tiger

Poor Kotetsu. Born to be the man who gets overshadowed by his younger, more good looking protege. He’s Wild Tiger from the amazing anime/manga series Tiger & Bunny, which I wrote a review for a long time ago. I might have to go back to this review one day to make sure that I still agree with it. The story of Tiger & Bunny features Super Heroes called NEXT who take part in a competition that’s televised known as Hero TV.

Kotetsu is just trying to get by in life. He believes in all that’s good, but his hot headed new partner in crime-fighting has an entirely different view on how to deal with criminals. As such, the two are constantly bickering. Kotetsu finds Barnaby, his partner (Bunny) to be irksome. Also, whilst Kotetsu means well, he really does more harm than he does good. Often whenever he gets money for his appearances on Hero TV, his pay is docked for the amount of structural damage he caused the city. More instant Ramen for you, Tiger.

7) Kick-Ass

Kick Ass

So far as origin stories go, Dave Lizewski has one of the saddest. “I was trying to be a hero, got beat up and then got hit by a car.” Bright side, once he’s recovered his damaged nerve endings leave him barely able to feel, making his second attempt at heroism far more successful! He takes his beating and doesn’t go down, he just keeps fighting back.

Doesn’t make him any less clumsy, embarrassing, ineffective, or impervious. Fights still hurt, he still can’t really swing a proper punch, and he’s still laughably socially awkward. Side by side with Hit-Girl and Big-Daddy only makes his flailing more obviously amateurish. It all makes for a good film (two good films actually) but it doesn’t stop you from feeling pretty bad for poor Dave.

6) The Thing, Fantastic Four

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Image Credit: Techtimes

Ben Grimm has come to terms with his new appearance over time, but his super-life did not come easily to him. While his friends got powers that left them perfectly able to walk around and function in public (so long as Johnny keeps the fire in check around people) Ben is coated head to toe in hard stone, and that doesn’t just switch off.

He lost his wife, he lost his ability to walk the streets, fell into the inner circle of criminal master The Mole Man, accepted for his ugliness. Not the only villain to manipulate The Thing either, as Angrir; Breaker of Souls he is an agent of destruction controlled by one of the seven fallen Asgardian hammers.

Perhaps the Thing’s worst lot in life though, are the four films. A Fantastic Four of Fantastic Fours. Even his catchphrase is better than his appearances on the big screen. Clobbering time indeed…

5) Rogue, X-Men

RogueCoverv3

When your super powers develop in the X-Men series, you’re not some revered super hero or super heroine. Instead, you become a freak to the world. You in fact become what they call a Mutant. One of these so called Mutants is Rogue, whose name implies she’d have a bit of a shifty touch to her right? Well you’d be somewhat right there. If you’ve never heard of this character, you’ve not paid much attention to the X-Men franchise!

Basically, her power is… She drains the life force… and indeed the powers… Out of whoever she touches. When she was a teenager, she was enjoying her time with her close friend Cody who seemingly liked her. So he went in for the kiss, which is perfectly normal with teenager hormones and all that jazz. What isn’t normal is when kissing the someone you like permanently puts you in a coma. That’s what Rogue did (unbeknownst to herself). So whilst her power is one of the most amazing powers in any super hero franchise, she’s also got a terribly tragic background. She cannot physically touch someone without nearly killing them. It’s not all bad though… In the comics she completely absorbed the ability to fly.

4) Aquaman

Aquaman_issue_1,_the_new_52

Aquaman and his powers are actually pretty spectacular. I mean, he is one of the most consistently strong characters in the Marvel universe. He’s defeated Superman in combat via drowning did you know? To be honest, being the strongest Atlantian is a pretty impressive feat unto itself. I mean he can even communicate with the sea creatures and completely control them – but it goes further than that. That power is actually a case that he can control any animal under the sea. Guess what? Humans, indeed even Kryptonians, are animals too. Aquamans powers could potentially be as limitless as Superman himself. Perhaps not…

But why does any of this make him unfortunate? This is a weird one, but his powers doesn’t make him unfortunate. Neither does his background, as he has a very cool story behind him. He has one of the best weapons ever too in his trident. What’s left? The damn media that put him on our screens. They made him out to have a power of literally talking to fish. I mean, “I’ll save you, I’ll talk to my fish friends.” Really!? Are you serious!? For a mighty king of the seas… Aquaman, you sure are an Aquadork.

3) Swamp Thing

Swamp Thing

Part humanoid, part plant, The Thing has evolved over time to be from a hunched over shambling monstrosity that he was into some ripped monster of justice. But Swamp Things life wasn’t always like this. He was basically betrayed by his colleague, who wanted to, I kid you not with this, take Swampys wife. He wasn’t always an elemental swamp creature, but he was originally Alex Olsen, a scientist who was caught up in an explosion. This somehow transformed him into the beast that is Swamp Thing. So he goes to get revenge on his old colleague by killing him. However, when Alex sees his wife, she cannot recognise him. He’s not Alex any more, so he has to move on.

It’s really quite a sad background, but couple this with the fact he’s literally part vegetation right now, you can’t help but empathise with the guy. For one, he was almost killed by a colleague just because his colleague wanted his wife. Then he was transformed into a hideous shambling monstrosity who never gets to love again (to my knowledge). Finally, he gets his revenge but at what cost? Oh yeah, plus the writer didn’t even have a name for him, having been quoted to have said “I didn’t have a title for it, so I kept calling it that swamp thing.” Now that’s the ultimate insult. Created by a creator who won’t even give it a name. Well Alex Olsen, Swamp Thing, Swampy, you’re one of the best!

Oh but don’t even bother to watch the series.

Don’t.

2) Arthur, The Tick

tick and arthur

He’s not a sidekick. Oh sure, the Tick is the muscle, all of the muscle in fact, Arthur in a fight is about as useful as a paper bag in the exact same fight. And the Tick is the one with all the actual super-powers, Arthur can kind of fly with his suit but even then he’s not great at it. But he is not the sidekick!

The reason: for all the muscle the Tick provides, Arthur is the brain. The Tick argues with plumbing, has a harder time with metaphors than Drax the Destroyer, and greater difficulty with basic day-to-day functions than a two year old. And he’s lumped himself with this optimistic try-hard in a bunny suit (sorry, moth) making Arthur the babysitter of the world’s most destructive toddler. You thought Jack-Jack Parr was dangerous? He’ll grow up and learn his vast array of strengths. Arthur’s charge is a wrecking ball with a cheerful smile, and doesn’t look set to change any time soon.

1) The Spleen, Mystery Men

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Now The Spleen does not consider himself to be unfortunate, and in truth this entry should really be listed as “everyone around The Spleen”. He’s not all that dangerous, but he’s not a hero you want to be on the wrong side of, and believe me, The Spleen has a wrong side.

The power of this Mystery Man hero is a potent chemical weapon, surprisingly accurate and effective at long range, the gypsy-curse induced knock-out farts! There’s a reason Blue Raja and Mr. Furious were not keen to team up with him. You daren’t shake the man’s hand for fear of pulling a finger.

Combined with his social awkwardness, poor personal hygiene, and a weapon called “The Blame Thrower” The Spleen is one heavily equipped hero, and no one but Paul Reubens could have struck such fear into our hearts and nostrils as the Mystery Men’s strongest weapon.

Gross


Honourable Mention

Treeman, ASDFMovie

Treeman is a one off sketch from the ASDFMovie series by TomSka. It’s one of the simplest stories of a Super Hero activating his powers in the hopes to save someone who needs to be rescued. Unfortunately for Treeman, he might have one of the most useless powers imaginable, but it’s okay. I believe in him. At least he isn’t Super Bob from The Demented cartoon movie! But this doesn’t excuse him from being absolutely useless.

When you’re in need, don’t count on Treeman to save your day. Unless the only way to save your day is to have a man turn into a rather fetchingly drawn tree, you will never find a use for Treeman’s powers. He’s an honourable mention as he’s not a true Super Hero… But I am sure someone out there is cheering for his mere existence. Well done, TomSka. You made a super useless super hero.

Bob, Agent of HYDRA

BobAgentofHydra

Bob is a highly amusing character and anyone who has read enough Deadpool comics will be able to tell you exactly why. Amusingly, he does count as an Antihero, which is a form of Super Hero, even though he possesses no real powers of his own. This is a common complaint of many super hero characters, but nevermind, Bob has more important things to be concerned with than having some simple heroic powers.

For example, Bob is basically Deadpools lackey. That’s dangerous enough, especially since when Deadpool and gang first meet Bob, they make him fly a HYDRA copter. Guess what happened? They all survived, but it was a mystery as to how. He’s kind of a bumbering idiot. It’s with this in mind that he’s one of the most affectionate sidekicks you’ll ever encounter. He’s fiercely loyal to Deadpool too. Perhaps he’s just scared for his life?


We’ve seen some strange Super Heroes in our lifetime. But the existence of some of the poor, but brave souls above is testament that out there are some truly bizarre, truly deprived men and women who made these heroes come to life. Well, not all of them, some are pretty cool, but for reasons that aren’t easy to explain, they were given backgrounds of questionable content. Nevermind eh? At least they get to look cool. Sometimes. Not you Arthur, you look silly.

Hey folks, don’t forget to vote for next weeks Top 10, because we love the challenges that we face here on GeekOut. We want bigger challenges, so don’t forget to vote for the one you think will be the most fun to read. Also, let us know what you thought of this weeks’ Top 10. Have we missed a trick? Do you agree with the heroes on our list? What do you think of some of the heroes? Do you think Aquamans portrayal by older media was just criminal!? Ahem, excuse me. I’m going to go and quietly sob into my Aquaman Issue 1 comic…

OH GOD THE BAD PUNS!

Geeking Out Hard – Horror Films

I am a man who finds different things to obsess over in phases, for maybe a month or two at a time. You may recall not too long ago it was Borderlands, but with Hallowe’en just passed and a few articles done on the subject of horror I have found myself chain-watching horror films of all types and listening to Librivox H.P. Lovecraft books.

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